The First

 Come all ye who's words sound better in their heads than on actual paper (whistles in pain). Welcome, welcome to this place I now call my little haven. Here I am, looking for words I didn't say. Ever had that feeling, that something is right at the tip of your brain,but you just can't reach it? That's what happening here (sighs)

Let me not digress. You little lost soul,want to know my name. You have not earned that privilege, yet, but I'll give you something to work with. You can call me Composedapopletic. Sounds ominous I know but I had to play with a little oxymoron. For  mystery's sake.

I don't know how to describe this feeling, not sure whether to jump on my mundane bed until it breaks or sit and sulk in a corner in the living room or maybe go outside and stare at the vast expanse that is the sky. Do you know that feeling? Little lost soul? This is not like the time I used to tell you stories of sad little boys in England, or stuck up priors in priories imposing their vindictive will on the poor of the land,or of dreams hidden away in castle walls in the Shire. No, this is just, in it's unadorned form, an expression, an explosion of feeling if you will.

No no no, now don't be funny, you know I laugh to hard at your jokes. Sometimes I wish I could just be stuck in this moment with you forever. Just you and me,in this material world, watching my favourite star, Sirius A on such a lonely night. But we don't always get what we want eeh?

Too bad Adele's not here to to gladen our hearts with Rolling in the deep or Love in the dark. It can never be all unicorns and rainbows. It rains, then the perched terra Firma sucks it all, the sweet smell of wet earth comes and goes, the Queen of the Night (Selenicereus graniflorus) blooms once and it's over. Aaaah! (Screams internally in imposed agony) what a rarity! Such wonder!

At times we know the joy but can't feel the glee, open our eyes but cannot see, rub our ears but can't hear. And it begins right here. You who owns a long hand deserves not a shining band,but a single wish of prayer to bring you close to the truths that exist.

I know I'm now ranting, but are you a VIP or  a nerd? I heard that defence lawyers use the term duress to describe  the use of force, coercion or psychological pressure exerted on a  client on the commission of a crime. But I tell you, duress for us is when these words in our mind remain there. And that is the worst torture a soul can ever bear. 

Alas Little lost soul, I know you are weary,but for you, avid listener, the outcry just begins. Dark tales ahead I tell ya, some I could never really tell what was going on. And ironically, I was a passenger in my own story. Will you voice those forgotten stories, my little lost soul?

As will always be a pleasure,

Asari Sango

The Composedapopletic.