Whispers of the Heart

I wanted to tell you a story Little Soul. Perhaps today is the day you and I face the music. Perhaps. When I listen to my heart, it says that I should remember what I deserve. You don't know how to listen? Once I had called it the fool. The fool the heart. But, as we grow we get new perspectives and they open our minds to a whole new world. The heart has many stories, but most people never listen. It protects us from harm, it advises, it cautions, it rejoices and when finally when our ignorance has reached its zenith, it goes quiet. Silent but always there. Watching. Listening. Waiting. Waiting for the day you will finally acknowledge it. And when we don't,the story goes quiet. Learn to listen little lost soul, or the heart will go quiet forever. And what an eternity that will be without it.

Do you know a Secret little Soul? One that this liquor cannot spill? Maybe it's in the first drop, come on, I'll try it for you. But I don't want to. I don't have to, do I? Can you teach me, Little Soul, the language of the heart, teach me how to talk with the heart. I know it whispers to you, just as it does to me. Many have tried but they never succeed. They never truly listen. You'll teach me won't you? To listen? What is its song right now? What do those whispers tell you? We're in lesson one and we are not moving. Ooh yes, I think that's best. But do you really think I remember? I will try. Here goes nothing!

So there I was in the arena. Everything was set and I was ready. Well, as ready as I could be. The war pits were a way of life and anyone who died there had the pleasure of dying valiantly. They fight bravely and die an honourable death. "Bring out the nitwit!" I was heard saying. ( Scoffs in implied prejudice) At this point they were all watching me, I could see their eyes dissecting every layer of my skin. I could see them judge me,as I was judging my opponent who had not in fact been called. That judgy gene must have been sprinkled on each of our chromosomes. We were all judging...

There goes the bell and another man appears. He had almost the same build as mine. No worries, I'll take him down either way. I thought. He had the same coverings as mine and even his weapon of choice mimicked mine. We started moving towards each other and I could see from his gait, that his dominant hand was the left. Just like mine. He walked with a certain aura, it was almost palpable, and I felt I could touch it with my fingers. The aura, just like mine. Perhaps I was dreaming. But this person seemed so much like me. Maybe we were related. But how?

I know you're asking the point of this story. I told you before little Soul, there's a point to this madness. So as I was saying, when we finally started fighting, he dodged my every attack. It was almost like he anticipated every move I made. I even tried not thinking about them, and just winging it, but he was not having them. It was almost laughable I might say. I could not defeat him, and neither could he defeat me. I sneaked a peek at his face and I almost bolted out of the ring. Under that helmet, hidden from the public, under all that facade was a face completely identical to mine. No, not what you're thinking little Soul, he was not my twin. I was fighting myself.

In our lives we are in a constant state of battle, of disbelief, of detachment, we fight constantly with ourselves and forget that there is actually no need to fight. And when we don't listen to the heart, we end up in war. So, little Soul, do not tell me to smile when my heart says I should be grieving. Do not tell me to put on a facade when the heart whispers to me something else. It's whispers are wisdom, and it will teach you many things. The Alchemist will tell you that his heart taught him the Language of the World, and that when he learned to listen to his heart, it had a boatload of stories to tell.

I am not a master at this art, but I'm trying aren't I? Don't you think you should cut me some slack? I want to listen to the Whispers of the Heart. What mysteries will it reveal? A new language? Always there but hidden? I know you little soul, lest you ever forget it. You can never hide anything from me. I will unravel you to your core.

You think I'm a lost cause don't you? That I'm way too gone for redemption, too complicated for shit. Don't deny it. I can see the way you look at me. I don't want your pity. Let me love my liquor and my hooch. Maybe at the very bottom of this bottle, I'll find the secret to talking with the heart. 

As will always be a pleasure,

Asari Sango