Paint It Grey

 " Chivalry and love are dead. I will paint it all grey, and nobody will stop me... " ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Beautiful Dreamer🥀⁕🎴💮,

   

 

To my Little Lost Soul,...

Shadow in your face, undignified and lame. Music in the distance, sad and low. These bottles of hooch are a weakness, drinking alone. Violet eyes glistening, you are weeping. Trying to forget, you will let go. Should I pity you? A tear? You shed a tear today. You felt the heaviness in your heart, and two rivers flowed. All you can see is grey, detached and bleak. That is why you are here. You will paint it all grey, and nobody will stop you. 

CHAPTER 16. How long did it take you to come back to this same place? But you're not truly back. I can feel the detachment. The easier solution was to shed tear(s). You and I both know that tears are words the heart can't speak. So cry little soul. You want to let go, but you're letting go of something that wasn't yours in the first place. *He told you he would rob and steal stars to keep it lit up in your world* . How asinine. Tell you how to let go? How could I? I know not the things of this world. 

The first coat is a light one. Your world will not be painted p* pink. You are painting it grey. And as the paint touches the wall, you feel so jealous. Jealous that it gets to have that colour and you do not, jealous that it can stick to one place and you can't. Never beg to be loved, perhaps that is why you are alone. You move on to the second coat, and you begin feeling better. Not good, but better. Nobody will stop you. 

You sought a-s-s before abs-olution 👀😂(laughs in HS audacity) You gave him too much power over yourself, albeit unwillingly. Now your thoughts have been wild and he has been fueling them. You remember how he told you that you smelled like absence of chaos. How far from the truth he was! You are its epitome. "Let go of your chaos" rings your mind, and at this point, you don't care if the whole world will burn. Damn it all. Damn it all to hell. And if hell was real, then you were already living it. 

Whoever said "the night is young" should be maimed. It is a fallacy. The night has always been dark and ancient. When you come back to your world, it will always resemble the night...Dark, mysterious, always hiding secrets, never to divulge. In your heart you wanted to love him so much that you forgot what hating  yourself actually felt like. Your painting is almost complete. Nobody will stop you. However much you give, they too have to choose and love you too. 

Intertwining, never to be out asunder. Chapter 16 of the Course learnt. The place is abuzz, a most sordid tale it is. Reckless naught again, so precise. Purist, we know you are. Nonetheless, do not insult me with your baseless conjecture. Alas! It is done, you wanted to paint your whole world grey; you have done it. Nobody has stopped you. And now quiet in your bed at night, you will look up, wondering what exists above, and in the still of the night, you will wonder on the things you forgot to love, and those that forgot to love You...

As will always be a pleasure,

A.S.